Friday, October 27, 2017


I would be okay with wearing the same clothes every day.

These jeans.

Image result for black ripped jeans

So like that, plus random t-shirts, hoodies, and jackets, maybe the occasional sweater when it gets cold. And then these shoes:

Vans Winston Rock Men's Skate Shoes, Size: medium (12), Black

Not gonna lie, this is basically what I HAVE worn, almost every single day, for the past two weeks. And it just has made me think about how little it takes to make me happy.

A pair of ripped jeans and some Vans. 

A sturdy backpack.

A good road trip car and an aux cord.

A fancy-ass water bottle.

An electric kettle, some instant coffee, and peppermint tea.

Some saltines, peanut butter, and a lot of bananas.

A notebook and reliable pens, preferably also some books.

And a way to communicate with my friends.

Like with almost every thing good and some things bad in my life, I feel obligated to credit my mother with this phenomenon. She made us appreciate small things, partly due to her thrifty, survivalist nature and partly due to the fact that she (and we) lived on child support for years so she could homeschool us instead of working. And my dad with his strict budgeting must have helped matters, although we always joke about him being the city boy, throwing money at problems instead of taking on the "fix it or live with it" mindset of my mom's family.

I would like to wear the same things every day, because I do not care about what I put on my body. I just want to exist well in this world. The things that you do matter so much more than the things that you are. What you look like, how much stuff you have. 

I would like to wear the same things every day, and go around doing good things for people just because they need to be done. Love is a necessary work in this world and it is utterly neglected. And we pay the consequences in our hatred to each other. 

I would like to go without, so that I can live this life of freedom and abstinence and pure giving. 

Thursday, October 26, 2017

this love (of life) drives me to...

  1. Travel Light
  2. Do Without (see #1)
  3. Make Miracles (see #2)
  4. Stay Alert 
  5. Listen to My Instincts
  6. Get My Hands Dirty
  7. Accept Failure and Get the Hell Back Up
  8. Change Direction
  9.  Let It* Go
  10. Love Hard
  11. Say Yes
  12. Throw Caution Fear to the Wind
  13. Know What Fuels Me
  14. Listen to Others
  15. Revise on the Fly
  16. Revel in the Dissonance
*"that shit"

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

What Is It I Want, a list by Me

  • a job that I am good at and feel successful in
  • lots of time (800000000000)
  • someone to talk me to sleep (1)
  • not to hurt anyone ever again
  • to work in a coffee shop some day (1-3)
  • not to feel trapped
  • nature. lots of nature.
  • an infinite car with an infinite gas tank (1)
  • never to feel alone or unloved or misunderstood.
  • for crying to fix everything.
  • to have time to sleep when i want to, OR to be able to fall asleep when I have time (1)
  • to feel normal 
  • to feel extraordinary
  • to be on a first name basis with my postal worker.
  • to be the best person that i can be
  • to not have to eat, except when i feel like it.

Monday, October 23, 2017


Hi my name is JJ and I deleted my fb account. I hold doors for old people and don't order food at restaurants. My car smells very nice but I can't tell because my nose doesn't work. I love my friends so well that I can't handle all the friends who want to be friends. I'm either very sarcastic or very serious. They don't coexist in my personality, I just flip a switch from one to the next and, for some reason, it's never as awkward as it should be. Sex jokes and materialism make me sad. I never expect to have more money than I do right now, which is not that much. I bought tickets to see Star Wars two months from now and will not let anyone go with me. It is a religious experience that cannot be shared. I once went broke from buying Star Wars tickets repeatedly. I give good hugs and I am a wonderful person, but I can't alleviate pain the way that I want to...